For reference, here's a refresher of the (WIP) Common Barriers to Cognitive Labor Equality, also here:
tinyurl.com/5vzsxv661. Lack of awareness: I see a problem, but my partner doesn’t
2. Values mismatch: My partner thinks on some level that household labor *should* be unequal
3. Care differential: We’d like to share the load, but I just care a lot more about these issues than my partner does, or we have different standards for how tasks should be accomplished
4. Skill differential: We’d like to share the load more equitably, but I’m just way better at most of these tasks than my partner is
5. Style clash: My partner and I are just very different people - they’re more of a ‘fly by the seat of their pants’ kind of person, and I like to have things planned in advance, so I tend to get to tasks first
6. Circumstances interfere: We agree that something closer to equality would be better, but our circumstances (e.g., our work hours, who works from home, our kids’ ages, etc.) prevent us from getting there
7. Sexist society / systems: My partner and I are on the same page, but we face an uphill battle with our parents/friends/neighbors/kids’ teachers, who assume that one of us is more responsible for domestic matters than the other
8. Manager/Helper dilemma: My partner is involved but still looks to me as the ultimate authority. And/or, my partner wants to take on more, but I can’t let go because I’m afraid they won’t do it, or won’t do it as well
9. Inertia: We both want to change but it feels too hard/tiring, and we are too locked into our existing patterns
