Thank you for your interest in joining Childfree by Choice & Grieving with Tawnya Musser of Dear Departures.
For ages 18+
WHEN: 3rd Mondays of the month at 5:30 p.m. mountain time (Here is a time zone converter if you need it).
- 2025 Dates -> 1/20, 2/17, 3/17, 4/21(cancelled), 5/19, 6/16, 7/21, 8/18, 9/15, 10/20, 11/17, 12/15
WHERE: Zoom
WHAT'S THE COST: $5-$20+ sliding scale (message me cost is a barrier). Our Zoom link will be sent to you via email within one business day of your payment being made.
If after reading the details, polices, and agreements below you still have questions feel free to reach out to tawnya@deardepartures.com
GROUP DESCRIPTION
This is a monthly group for people choosing not to have children who are sad about that sometimes. It’s not a given that everyone who is childfree by choice is 100%, unabashedly content with the decision. While we may be set in our choice, there can still be grief there. I know there is for me. It’s a both-and/two truths situation. Many of us make this choice for a lot of unfortunate, depressing, and/or systemic reasons, and I created this space where we can be with our truths, and hurts, around it all.
WHO IS IT FOR
Our group is intended to be a space for people who have chosen not to have children. It is not intended to be a child-loss support group or infertility support group, although if you have prior experience with infertility and/or pregnancy loss and have since decided to not have children (meaning you are now childfree by choice) feel free to join and see if it’s a good fit.
WHAT IS A DROP-IN GROUP?
This group being a drop-in group just means that anyone can attend in any given month and there is no commitment to join multiple sessions. There may be more or less people here and there, whereas a closed group is when you have the same set group of people attending every month.
DO I HAVE TO SIGN UP EVERY MONTH?
Yes. Monthly registration helps me get a head count, and there is a different Zoom link for each month’s meeting.
Note-you will only have to review and accept the community agreements once. Future registrations will allow return members to bypass that section of the registration form (unless updates have been made). Please use the same name (and email address when possible) each month.
GROUP FORMAT
We will spend 1.5 hours together on Zoom. I’ll start the group with a short introduction and brief review of our community agreements, then we will move into our sharing. I will use a timer (as needed) to ensure everyone gets an equal amount of share time. We will use breakout rooms when there is a larger number of folks in the space.
Some months I may offer up a particular prompt (but not always).
Depending on our group size any given month, there may be room for more expansive conversation/cross talk once everyone has had a chance to share.
SHARING
The cornerstone of a support group is that it is participatory in nature. You may choose to pass during your time to share, but I do ask that you at least introduce yourself so that other group members know who they are sharing space and stories with. You can use the chat feature if you prefer to share that way. We don’t want you to feel pressured. We do want you to feel like a welcomed part of the group.
WHAT IS PEER-LED SUPPORT
This group is facilitated by me, a fellow human who is considered to be your peer because I am also childfree by choice and grieving. Peer-led groups uplift the ways in which you don't need a quote, unquote, “professional” in order to be supported in your grief.* Peer support grief care is community care.
Disclosure: I have no therapeutic licensure or master's degree+ level credentials (if that matters to you). I do have a bachelor’s in counseling and mental health and a background that includes group facilitation. I’ve had ongoing grief-literacy-type training, and I choose to engage in continuing education in the grief space. Not because I’m required to do so by a credentialing body, but because I choose to.
Disclaimer: Peer support is not a substitute for therapy.
*I know and value some really great mental health professionals, and I have seen one particular therapist off and on for over 20 years. That said, overemphasizing the need for professionals (and hierarchy) for grief support can diminish the power of collective care, undermining the validity of organic, community-driven support systems. Clinical and theoretical perspectives and the pathologizing of grief (defined as regarding or treating someone or something as psychologically abnormal or unhealthy) may lead to professionals treating grief as a condition to be "managed" or "cured," when really, it is a natural response to loss. Peer groups normalize grief as a shared human experience, rather than something needing intervention. Pathologizing grief suggests that ordinary people can’t provide meaningful support, which is contrary to centuries of community-led mourning traditions. Not to mention that there are some very real barriers to access for many folks trying to access mental healthcare. (Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.)
WHY SLIDING SCALE?
Sliding scale pricing is used as a tool for economic justice. If you choose the lowest end of the scale when you can afford to pay more, you are limiting access to those who truly need the gift of financial flexibility. Being honest with yourself and your financial situation when engaging with sliding scale practices grows strong and sustainable communities and respects the work of the people you seek services from.
Consider paying less on the scale: if you have trouble paying for basic needs like food, and housing, have medical expenses not covered by insurance, receive public assistance, are supporting children or have other dependents, are an elder with limited financial support, etc.
Consider paying more on the scale: if you have expendable income for recreational goods/services/activities, if you own the home you live in, have investments and/or retirement accounts, have access to family money and resources in times of need, are able to work part-time or not at all by choice, etc.
(Language adopted and adapted from Alexis Cunningfolk)
EXPLICIT CONTENT/PROFANITY DISCLOSURE
I’m a potty mouth. I don’t filter myself much in my groups. We are talking about hard things, and I’m not in favor of censoring my (or others’) language. While I do try to tone down the amount of colorful language that I use compared to in my everyday life, if cursing or profanity make you uncomfortable this group might not be a good fit (sorry)! I just like folks to know this going in so they have the choice to make an informed decision before joining.
ABOUT TAWNYA
Tawnya (she/her) is a death & grief worker with a variety of offerings including community deathcare/home funeral advocacy and education. She crafts custom end-of-life ceremonies and rituals as a Life-Cycle Celebrant, she offers end-of-life planning and support as a death doula, and she facilitates peer-led support groups.
She also speaks freely about her lived experience with suicidal ideation. She advocates for and educates on anti-carceral support approaches, and she values autonomy. She served a board term with the National Home Funeral Alliance and co-authored the organization's Home Funerals Guidebook. She also co-authored an end-of-life planning guide for the non-monogamy community.
She’s worked in the death and grief sphere since 2018, but has a helping field background that extends back to 2008.