Chronic Pain and Sex

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As a Christian who writes and speaks about sexual intimacy in marriage (on The Forgiven Wife blog and the Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast), I often hear from wives who struggle with chronic pain.

I am asking for your help in giving me insight and information to help me help these women. Most questions in this survey are open-ended, because there is so much I don't yet know. Pause when you need to so you can rest and reflect; you can return to the survey again later.

This survey is anonymous. If you are willing to be contacted with follow-up questions, please include your email address where indicated. If you have questions about how I am using this information, please feel free to contact me at chris@forgivenwife.com.

Which of the following best describes your experience with chronic pain and sex?

Chronic non-sexual pain that interfereres with sex

Pain that is caused by sexual activity or arousal

A combination of non-sexual pain and sexual pain

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What medical conditions or treatments have contributed to your pain, and for how many years have you been dealing with this?

Which of the following are you able to experience without pain or discomfort? Check all that apply.

Sexually stimulating your husband with your hands.

Sexually stimulating your husband with your mouth.

Your husband sexually stimulating you with his hands.

Your husband sexually stimulating you with his mouth.

Holding your husband while he stimulates himself.

Stimulating yourself.

Intercourse.

What positions or activities are completely off limits due to your pain?

What positions or activities are tolerable or even comfortable, but not pleasurable, due to your pain?

What positions or activities work best for you?

Do you use assistive devices or marital aids to help you have intercourse or other sexual activity with your husband

If applicable, what assistive devices do you use? Examples might include such things as a sex swing, vibrator, penis sleeve, sex furniture, or sex pillows.

How does sexual activity affect your pain and/or energy level, and for how long?

How has your chronic pain shaped your marriage?

What advice about sex do you have for other Christian wives with chronic pain?

Is there anything else you wish I had asked or that you would like to share?

If you are willing to be contacted if I have follow-up questions, you may include your email address here. This information will be kept confidential.

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