Judaism & Today's Polyamory: Survey
Rabbi Nikki DeBlosi, PhD, with Wayne State University Press, is collecting anecdotal evidence about the intersection of Jewish identity and polyamorous relationships for an upcoming book. Forget the old question, “Does Judaism allow polyamory?” Rabbi Nikki instead asks: What can the practice of polyamory teach us about a liberated, feminist, queer-inclusive, contemporary Jewish life? From relationships detached from ancient sexist frameworks to meaningful love inspired by the rich library of Torah and Talmud, the book will offer fresh interpretive readings of ancient Biblical and Rabbinic texts, alongside contemporary poly thinking and experience, in order to challenge restrictive norms, expand a sense of belonging, and meaningfully connect to Jewish tradition and wisdom. Jewish folks of various family and relationship structures will find suggestions for ways to celebrate love in all its forms. Unrestricted by traditional halakhic (Jewish legal) methods, yet rigorous, this project will apply reading and interpretive strategies from the field of queer theory in ways accessible to the casual reader. 

For more about Rabbi Nikki see www.rabbinikki.com. She was ordained at HUC-JIR's New York campus in 2013 and holds a PhD in Performance Studies, with a focus in queer theory, from NYU. 

For the purposes of story-gathering, she seeks currently-identified polyamorous Jewish people raised and living in the US and Canada willing to answer some questions about their experience.
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If you would like to be in further communication with Rabbi Nikki, or if you have major concerns about whether your responses will be included in any way in the published book, please either email me at ravnikkid@gmail.com or include your email here.
I would describe my gender identity as (check all that apply): *
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I would describe my sexual orientation as (check all that apply) *
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I would describe my polyamory as (check all that apply): *
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How would you describe your ethnic or racial identity?
I would describe my Jewish background as (check all that apply): *
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Is there anything you want to share about your Jewish background or journey to Judaism?
I would describe my current Jewish practice as (check all that apply): *
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Is there anything you want to share about your current Jewish practice?
Is there anything else you want to share about your identities and how they intersect?
Are you currently legally married, or do you plan or hope to be in the future?  *
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If you are not married by choice, can you share a little bit about what that choice means to you, and whether polyamory shaped your decision? 
How would you describe your current and/or preferred relationship structure?
How did you first encounter or learn about polyamory? *
What do you find most challenging about polyamory? *
What does polyamory make space for or make possible in your life that would otherwise be impossible or very challenging? You might consider emotional, psychological, sexual, logistical, or other dimensions of your life. *
Do you have or help to raise children? (I acknowledge the pain of those coping with infertility). *
If you do not raise children, is this a choice you made? If "yes", please tell me a little more about what that choice means to you, and whether polyamory shaped your decision?
If you raise or nurture children, how has polyamory impacted your child-rearing? For example, how/do you approach the topic of polyamory with your children?
In what settings are you "out" as polyamorous? Does the language of being "out" resonate with you? Why or why not?
Does being polyamorous or practicing polyamory affect the ways you show up in Jewish settings and/or communities? If so, how so? *
If you are or have ever been legally married, did you have a Jewish wedding? How would you describe the traditions and adaptations you used? Was your wedding officiated by a rabbi? Did your rabbi know you were practicing consensual non-monogamy?
If you are or have ever been legally married and familiar with the terms "kiddushin" and "kinyan," please describe how your wedding did or did not reflect these two Jewish concepts.
Do Jewish texts, Jewish ideas, or Jewish practices in your background or community block you from being "out" or living as polyamorous? Does being polyamorous mean "leaving behind" Jewish practice or belonging in community? If so, how? What conflicts between Judaism and polyamory do you experience? *
What Jewish texts, practices, customs, beliefs, etc, help you better understand polyamory? Where are the generative intersections between Judaism and polyamory in your life? *
What do you wish Rabbis knew about the polyamorous people and families already in or on the margins of our communities? (If the denominational affiliation of the Rabbi matters to you, please tell me more about that.) *
Is there anything else you would like Rabbi Nikki to know or consider?
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