Assistant Applications
I, Lazarus La Croix, am hiring an assistant or two for my various duties in and outside of the school.
Expectations
Applicants are expected to be adults between the ages of 18 - 200, and they are expected to be able to lift, stand, walk, speak fluent common, write competently, and be able to commit to various other physical activities as needed throughout the day.

Applicants are expected to be well organized individuals who care about cleanliness and timeliness.

Applicants are expected to be patient and tolerant individuals who are willing to commit to a task no matter how inconvenient or seemingly ridiculous in nature they may seem.

Applicants are expected to be professional while on duty.

Applicants are expected to be tolerable of nicknames, no matter how demeaning or odd they may seem.

Applicants are expected to be tolerable of zany, spur of the moment adventures that may risk certain death or bodily harmed at any moment of time.

Applicants are expected to be tolerable of all things dark and spooky.

Applicants are expected to be shorter than me.

Applicants are expected to wear a uniform.

Applicants are expected to agree to a privacy policy and non-disclosure agreement prior to signing their contract. The breaking of this agreement could result in the torment of one's soul for all eternity.

Applicants are suggested to be knowledgeable in the art of prosthetic creation and maintenance, however such is not required.

Applicants are suggested to have a sense of style, however such is not required.

Applicants will not be paid.
Duties
My assistant will have a variety of activities to keep themselves busy. Some are as follows:

Scheduling my day to day activities.

Scheduling meetings.

Substituting my Classes on occasion.

Cleaning and maintaining my room, clothing, various masks, and weaponry.

Cooking warm meals.

Providing amusement.

Accompanying me on various meetings.

Accompanying me on spontaneous life or death situations.

Providing character development.

Telling people I'm too busy when really I just don't want to talk to them, you know?

Providing unexpected life advice, "student becomes the teacher" style.

Wing-manning.

Possibly designing the uniform they are required to wear.

Listening to my mad ravings during episodes of mania.

Companionship.
Applicant’s MC Username or Discord *
Applicant's Name *
Applicant's Race *
Applicant's Age *
Applicant's Height *
Applicant's Schedule ((include timezone oocly *
Applicant's Favorite Style of Liquor *
Applicant's Virgin Status *
Have you or someone you love ever peered into the endless veil of reality, only to find it staring back at you? *
Have you or someone you love ever opened a good book only to find your subconscious being ejected into the maddening embrace of Ebrietæs, causing permanent scars that have fractured your mind and left you many sleepless nights cowering in fear of your own fragile mortality? *
Do you speak the Black Language? *
If a weasel and jack rabbit crossed paths, what color would their children be? *
On a scale of one to three, how intact is your soul? *
On a scale of one to ten, how healthy is your mind? *
Broken beyond repair
Pristine
How many kidneys do you have? *
Are you right or left handed? *
Do you have children? How many? *
On a scale of one to ten, ten to one? *
10
1
Please provide your preferred nickname so I may later disregard your preferences. *
Please list any and all skills you may or may not have, such as cleaning, fighting, nursing, or purifying the souls of the damned. Please be as specific as possible.
Please list any special considerations. Why should I choose you specifically?
What is your favorite color? *
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