Is your roommate conducting fruit fly breeding experiments in your kitchen? Does it get on your nerves when your parent calls to ask how you're doing? Are you trapped inside the Campanile?
Worry not— the Free Peach's advice columnists are here to help! No issue is too traumatizing and no problem is too small for us to provide you with well-intentioned but utterly misleading advice to resolve your situation. Fill out the form below to be bestowed with the depths of our knowledge.
Note: Submissions need not be satirical. All submissions may be edited to enhance creative potential. All advice is provided for comedic purposes only. Please talk to your major advisor, hairdresser, therapist, barista, or phlebotomist for legitimate guidance.
