Teens are experts at pushing just the right buttons to knock you off-centre.

If you are not feeling resourceful you go one of several ways:

1. Full on ‘parent-mode’ by punishing or threatening.
“Give me your phone now! You will get it back when you are ready to co-operate!”
“If you don’t get your head in matey, it will be no screens for a month!”
“You are grounded! Apologise and go to your room!”
“Stop that, or else!”

2) Making yourself the victim by complaining or giving up.
“Why do you make life so hard for me?”
“I give up, do whatever you want, but don’t come complaining to me when…”

3) Adapting to their whims and needs by:
- not holding them accountable for their actions,
- doing everything for them

But does it help?

In the long term, not one bit. Your teen learns that they can not depend on you to be present with them unconditionally, and often become more and more withdrawn and distant in the relationship, or more and more dependent and needy. They never learn to be self-responsible and independent.
Eventually this may show up in addictive behaviours and other mental health issues.

Could parenting be free of overwhelm and reactivity such as threats, punishment, complaints, disappointment, resentment and giving up?

How can you build a relationship that fosters intimacy, trust, and a healthy young person?

This is what we will be investigating during this 2-hr workshop.

Non-parents also welcome!