Darwin Would Want a Do-Over

The fact that Joel had survived his 30th birthday defied every medical theory. He drank like a fish—if fish were alcoholics. He smoked like a chimney—a chimney filled with unfiltered cigarettes. The closest he came to a gym was when he passed it on the way to the bakery, where he frequently stuffed his pie hole.

Deeply concerned, his friends staged an intervention. Joel was surprisingly receptive, even as the plane crashed into his house, killing everyone—except for Joel.

Fortunately, his complete lack of muscles and tone helped him escape as he squeezed and oozed through the rubble.


Prompt: Surprisingly healthy