Feedback for Elephant Conversation Template 🐘

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This form is for giving feedback on your experience of using Malcolm Ocean's Template:

"How to Gently Blindly Touch the Elephant In the Room Together"

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X7ugtrN8ahXtfyM3qzSrhyEnhBfiT_J_xDGE5jz4Ppc/edit

all questions optional!

What role were you in?

I used the template as part of bringing up something with someone

I was the someone who received someone else using this template

Other:

Clear selection

How did you use the template?

(if you were the recipient, fill out the one that matches best what the other person would answer)

In a live conversation, I used the empty template as a guide and filled it in in real-time

I filled it out then read it out loud to someone in a conversation

I filled it out then sent it to someone in template form

I filled it out then edited it into more of a letter

I used it as a reference to write a letter from scratch

I used the empty template itself as the starting point for a conversation

Other:

Clear selection

How'd it go?

Better than I could have possibly anticipated or envisioned

As good as I could have imagined

Surprisingly well

Decently

Not so great

Kinda janky

A big mess, but we'll be able to repair it I think

Utter shitshow, major breach in trust

Clear selection

What else do you want to share about how it went? You can give a bit of a play-by-play if you want

What were you trying to talk about? What was the elephant?

Detail welcome, but you could also just say something like "a way in which the person's body language seemed to be subtly disrespecting me"

How much of a difference did each of these steps seem to make?

1 ~ "made it much worse"

2 ~ "kinda awkward, didn't seem to help"

3 ~ "no difference" or "I would have done the step anyway"

4 ~ "seemed to help"

5 ~ "unlocked something major"

Step 0. “here’s some of my goodwill towards you” or “here’s what we share”

Clear selection

Step 1. “I'm using a template”

Clear selection

Step 2. “I aim to respect any distrust that may arise in you”

Clear selection

Step 3. “why I’m bringing this up”

Clear selection

Step 4. “I am looking and seeing something”

Clear selection

Step 5. “I am interpreting”

Clear selection

Step 6. “I have distrust”

Clear selection

Step 7. “what I want right now”

Clear selection

Step 8. “I have boundaries”

Clear selection

Bonus step: my specific concern / “this reminds me of” / dream mashup

Clear selection

Overall, how much do you feel like the template helped?

Clear selection

What did you find difficult?

What else do you want to share?

Can I get in touch with you?

share your email or twitter if you are potentially down to talk more about your experience with the template or about the conversation you had as a potential case-study in trust-negotiation/dancing

Thanks!

I appreciate you filling out this form and also simply your courage in choosing to have a challenging conversation!

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