Experience In Close Relationship Survey (Chinese) 親密關係體驗問卷
The Experience in Close Relationship Survey is designed to help you explore your experience in close relationships based on attachment science.  It includes scales to assess your attachment style, experience of accessibility, responsiveness and engagement in a close relationship with your partner, friend, peer, sibling or cousin.  A self assessment of attachment position is also conducted.  Finally, an assessment of the coping behaviour during disconnection, emotions when your needs are unmet or met and when your attachment figure's needs are unmet or met, and the deeper attachment fears and longings in yourself and your attachment figure is undertaken. 親密關係體驗問卷的設計幫助你通過依附科學探索你在親密關係中的體驗. 問卷包括量表,用於評估你的依附風格,在與依附對象的親密關係中可親,回應和投入的程度. 你最重要的依附對象可能是你的伴侶,兄弟姐妹,朋友. 同時評估你的依附位置. 最後評估你與依附對象失去連結時的應對行為,你和依附對象的需求得不到或得到滿足時的情緒反應以及你與依附對象更深層的依附恐懼和渴求.
A copy of the survey will be sent to you.  Please make sure that you have entered the correct email address.  Data from the survey will also be used in research after identifying personal information has been removed.  
Please consider inviting your attachment figure to complete the survey also and share the results with each other. Research has shown that simply hearing, understanding and affirming each other's responses will increase attachment security and the quality of the bond.  If you are receiving professional help or were referred to complete this survey by a professional helper, it would be helpful to forward or print a copy of your survey results to enable them to provide better help to you and repeat the survey after the interventions to see how you have improved in your experience of attachment security. 問卷的副本將發送給你.請確保你輸入了正確的電郵. 刪除個人資料後,問卷中的數據也將用於研究. 請考慮邀請你的依附對象完成問卷並分享其結果. 研究表明,聆聽,理解和肯定彼此的回應將提高依附安全和連結的質量. 如果你正在接受專業幫助,或被專業助人人士轉介完成此問卷,請考慮轉發或打印問卷結果的副本,使他們能夠為你提供更好的幫助,並在完成專業幫助後重複問卷,從而看看你如何改善依附安全的體驗.
By completing this form, you consent to the use of the anonymous data in studies related to experience in close relationships. We thank you for your help in these studies that help professional helpers be more effective at helping you and also help the development of more effective attachment based resources to strengthen the relationships that you value. 填寫此表,即表示你同意在與親密關係體驗相關的研究中使用匿名數據. 多謝你在這些研究中所提供的幫助,這些研究不僅可以幫助專業助人人士更有效地幫助你,還可以幫助發展更有效,基於依附科學的資源來鞏固你最珍惜的關係.
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Email *
Gender 性別 *
Required
Age 年齡 *
Occupation 職業 *
Place of Origin 來自: *
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Most important attachment figure or close relationship being assessed 評估對你最重要的依附關係或親密關係 *
Required
Years in relationship with this attachment figure 與依附對象關係的年數: *
Required
Experience in Close Relationship Scale – Short Form 親密關係體驗量表:  The following statements concern how secure you tend to feel in close relationships. Respond to each statement by indicating how much you agree or disagree. 以下的這些陳述是有關你在親密關係中對你的依附對象所持有的想法和感受. 請根據你對每一個陳述同意的程度作答.
1 Strongly Agree 非常地同意
2 Agree 同意
3 Slightly Agree 有一點同意
4 Neutral 不確定
5 Slightly Disagree 有一點不同意
6 Disagree 不同意
7 Strongly Disagree 非常地不同意
It helps to turn to my attachment figure in times of need. 在我需要幫忙的時候,去找我的依附對象是有用的
I need a lot of reassurance that I am loved by my attachment figure 我需要我的依附對象一再地保證証他(她)是愛我的
I want to get close to my attachment figure, but I keep pulling back 我想要親近我的依附對象,但我總是退卻不前.
I find that my attachment figure doesn't want to get as close as I would like 我發現我的依附對象對我們之間的期待,並不如我想要的一般親近.
I turn to my attachment figure for many things, including comfort and reassurance 我會為了很多事情去找我的依附對象,包括尋求他(她)的安慰和保證.
My desire to be very close sometimes scares my attachment figure away 我想要和別人非常親近的這個念頭,有時會嚇跑他們.
I try to avoid getting too close to my attachment figure 我試著避免和我的依附對象變得太親近.
I do not often worry about being abandoned 我不會常擔心會被拋棄.
I usually discuss my problems and concerns with my attachment figure 我常常和我的依附對象討論我所遭遇的問題和煩惱.
I get frustrated if my attachment figure is not available when I need him / her 當我需要我的依附對象時,他(她)卻沒有空,我會覺得挫折.
I am nervous when my attachment figure gets too close to me 當我的依附對象太親近我的時候,我會很緊張.
I worry that my attachment figure won't care about me as much as I care about him / her 我擔心我的依附對象不像我在乎他(她)一樣地在乎我.
Brief Accessibility Responsiveness Engagement Scale – Short Form 簡短的可親,回應,投入程度量表:  The following statements concern how secure you tend to feel in close relationships. Respond to each statement by indicating how much you agree or disagree. 以下陳述涉及你在親密關係中感到安全的程度.  通過表示你同意或不同意的程度來回應每個陳述.
1 Never True 從不正確
2 Rarely True 很少正確
3 Sometimes True 有時正確
4 Usually True 通常正確
5 Always True 常常正確
I am rarely available to my attachment figure 我對依附對象很少是可親的.
It is hard for my attachment figure to get my attention 我依附對象很難得到我的注意.
I listen when my attachment figure shares her/his deepest feelings 當我的依附對象分享她/他最深的感受時,我會聆聽.
I am confident I reach out to my attachment figure 我對能否接觸我的依附對象有信心.
It is hard for me to confide in my attachment figure 我很難信任我的依附對象.
I struggle to feel close and engaged in our relationship 我為了感到親密並投入我們的關係而掙扎.
My attachment figure is rarely available to me 我的依附對象很少讓我接觸他/她.提供給我.
It is hard for me to get my attachment figure’s attention 我很難得到我的依附對象的注意.
My attachment figure listens when I share my deepest feelings 當我分享最深刻的感受時,我的依附對象會傾聽.
I am confident my attachment figure reaches out to me 我有信心我的依戀對象會向我伸手.
It is hard for my attachment figure to confide in me 我的依附對象很難信任我.
My attachment figure struggles to feel close and engaged in our relationship 我的依附對象為了感到親密並投入我們的關係而掙扎.
Self assessment of attachment position 自我評估依附位置:
fits my experience 符合我的經歷
fits how I experience my attachment figure 符合我如何經歷我的依附對象
Other 其他
Pursuers say 追究者說: I am dying here. I am shut out. My feelings don’t matter. It’s lonelier than living alone. By myself. Dismissed. I get no response. I am hammering on the door. I yell to get a response – any response. We’re roommates. I don’t matter to you… 我要死了,我被關在外了,我的感受沒人在乎,這比單獨生活更孤單! 我自己一個人,被打發了,得不到任何回應. 我在門口搥打著,我高聲呼叫期望得到回應 - 任何回應都好! 我們只是室友似的,你根本不在乎我...
Withdrawers say 退縮者說: I never get it right – can’t please. I give up, space out. Best to avoid a fight – try to keep things calm. I’m failing here. Paralyzed. No point. Go behind my wall. I try to FIX it – but it doesn’t work. I numb out... 我永遠無法做對,根本無法討好. 我放棄、放空、最好避開爭吵,保持冷靜. 我失敗了,癱瘓了,沒意義. 必須到我的牆後面. 我試圖修復它,但沒用的. 我麻木了...
Identifying your ACTION TENDENCY 找出你的行動傾向: When I find it hard to connect with you, I tend to 當我感到與你的連結有困難時,我傾向於:
fits my experience 符合我的經歷
fits how I experience my attachment figure 符合我如何經歷我的依附對象
Other 其他
A1 Avoid or withdraw to prevent things from getting worse 用逃避或退縮來防止事情變得更差
A2 Escalate or raise my voice to protest the loss of response 升高/提高我的聲音來抗議你不回應
A3 Argue, slip into rage or blow up to hide my hurt 用爭辯演變成憤怒/大發雷霆來掩蓋我受傷的感覺
A4 Try harder to earn your love, respect or approval 嘗試更努力地博取你的愛/尊重/肯定
A5 Slip into a negative mode to show my despair 演變成消極的狀態來顯示我的絕望
A6 Blame to convince myself that it’s your fault and I’m the victim 用指責來表示這是你的錯,我是受害者
A7 Exaggerate or get dramatic to get your attention or response 用誇大或戲劇化來換取你的注意或回應
A8 Slip into denial because it’s hard to face the truth 用否認因為很難面對真相
A9 Invalidate or devalue you because I’m not valued 否定或貶低你因為我覺得不被重視
A10 Explain or get defensive to get you to understand 解釋或自衛,因為我期望你可以了解我
A11 Cling or become dependent since I’m afraid of losing you 變成倚賴或纏著你因我害怕失去你
A12 Procrastinate or superficially comply to show my resentment 用拖延或表面上同意來表示我的不滿
A13 Become passive aggressive to avoid saying no directly 以被動的攻擊來避免直接說不
A14 Attack and criticize to protest how I am being disrespected 以攻擊和批評來抗議我如何不被尊重
A15 Become more responsible since I am afraid of losing you 變得更負責任,因為我害怕失去你
A16 Act out to try to soothe my pain inside 以不適的行為來嘗試舒緩我內心的痛苦
A17 Turn to addictions to cope with my hurt 用沉溺行為來修復自己的傷痛
A18 Numb my discomfort by using various means or devices 採用各種手段或方法來麻木我的不安
A19 Take revenge to show that you can’t hurt me like this 以報復來表明你不能這樣傷害我
A20 Neglect or harm myself because I don’t feel valued 忽略或傷害自己,因為我感到不被珍惜
A21 Misuse or abuse food, sex or substances to comfort myself 濫用食物,性或藥物來安撫自己
A22 Become more perfectionistic to avoid rejection 以變得更加完美來避免被拒絕
A23 Become more obsessive to regain a sense of control 變得更加強迫或執著來重獲控制感
A24 Freeze and do nothing, hoping that things will turn around 凍結和什麼都不做,希望事情會自己好轉過來
A25 Over eat/sleep excessively to avoid discomfort 暴飲暴食/不斷睡眠來迴避不適的感覺
A26 Engage in risky behaviour because I have nothing to lose 做出危險的行為因我已經沒有甚麼可以失去
A27 Have affairs because other partners seem more accepting and respectful 發生婚外情因為其他伴侶好像對我更接納和尊重
A28 Focus on fixing/problem solving since that’s what I know 專注於修理/解決問題,因為這是我唯一所懂的
A29 Complain/ judge / accuse because I feel bad inside 抱怨/批判/控訴因為我內心感覺不好
A30 Manipulate or control to get what I want 用操縱或控制來得到我所想要的
A31 Threaten or get violent because I feel powerless inside 威脅和變得暴力,因為我覺得自己無能
A32 Use humour to laugh it off or cover up my true feelings 用幽默或一笑置之來掩蓋我真實的感受
A33 Make sarcastic, belittling or demeaning remarks because I feel small 諷刺,譏笑或貶低對方,因我感到渺小
A34 Minimize or downplay the issue since I have difficulty coping 把問題縮小或淡化,因為我感到不容易面對
A35 Become logical and rationalize to justify myself 用邏輯/合理化來為自己辯解
A36 Become cold and indifferent since nothing will make any difference 變成冷漠和毫無反應,因為做什麼都沒有分別
A37 Stonewall as a way to protect myself 築起石牆來保護自己
A38 Distract myself to lessen my stress and discomfort 以分心來減輕我的壓力和不安的感覺
A39 Busy myself with activity so that I don’t have to face you 忙於自己的活動,導致我不需要面對你
A40 Other coping behavior or modification of any of the above 添加其他應付方法或修改以上任何一項:
Suggested exercise with your attachment figure to identify your negative interactional cycle 與你的依附對象找出你們之間的負面互動模式的作業:
Share how you experience yourself in the relationship with your attachment figure and how your attachment figure may experience you in the relationship 分享在你和依附對象的關係中,你怎樣經歷自己和對方怎樣經歷他/她自己.
1. Select items from the list that describe your action tendency when you find it hard to connect with your attachment figure 請從以上的陳述選出描述當你感到與依附對象的連結有困難時,你的行動傾向.
2. Share with your attachment figure by reading out each item slowly and using a soft tone 請與你的依附對象分享並以放慢的速度和溫柔的語氣來讀出你選出的陳述.
3. After your attachment figure selects the items that describe his or her action tendency, listen carefully and attentively to his or her sharing 當你的依附對象選出形容他/她的行動傾向的陳述後,請細心地聆聽他/她的分享.
4. Work together to map out your interactional cycle, which may hinder you from connecting with each other in a secure way 請一起描述你們關係中的互動循環,這攔阻你們安全地互相連結.
5. When I… (fill in your action tendency) , you… (fill in your attachment figure’s action tendency) The more I…, the more you…
當我... (填寫你的行動傾向),你... (填寫你的依附對象的行動傾向); 當我越…, 你越..., 當我更…, 你就更…
6. Please share your experience in completing this exercise and what was helpful to you with your attachment figure 請與你的依附對象分享你完成這作業時的經歷和什麼是對你和關係有幫助的.
Identifying your EMOTIONS: When my needs are not responded to, I feel 找出當你的需要得不到回應時你會感覺到的情緒...
fits my experience 符合我的經歷
fits how I experience my attachment figure 符合我如何經歷我的依附對象
Other 其他
E1 Puzzled/disoriented, because I am not sure what is going on 迷惘或疑惑,因我不知道正在發生什麼
E2 Surprised, since this is not what I expect 驚訝,因這不是我所期待的
E3 Resentful, for I seem to do more for you than you for me 不滿,因我為你付出的似乎比你為我付出的更多
E4 Disappointed, since I deserve to be treated better 失望,因我認為我配得更好的對待
E5 Numb or detached since this is too painful to face 麻木或抽離,因為要面對是太痛苦了
E6 Sad, since I value your considerate response 悲傷,因為我珍惜你對我敏銳的回應
E7 Hurt or bitter, since my needs are not important to you 傷痛或苦楚,因為我的需要對你不重要
E8 Guarded, for I don’t know if I can depend on you 謹慎或小心,因為我不知道我能否依靠你
E9 Worried or scared, for I don’t know where I stand with you 擔心或害怕,因為我不能確定我在你心裡的地位
E10 Exhausted, because I am tired of asking and waiting 耗盡力竭,因為我已厭倦了要求和等待
E11 Indifferent or apathetic, since I can’t risk getting hurt again 冷漠或不在乎,因為我不能冒險再次受傷
E12 Angry or fed up, since I seem worthless to you 憤怒或厭煩,因為我好像對你毫無價值
E13 Jealous or envious, for others seem more important to you 嫉妒或羨慕,因為別人對你似乎比我更重要
E14 Humiliated, shamed or put down, for I’m not worthy of your response 羞辱或被貶低,因為我不配得到你的反應
E15 Alone, as if I have been abandoned 孤單,好像我被遺棄了
E16 Frustrated, since I cannot get through to you 沮喪,因為我不能使你明白我的需要
E17 Overwhelmed, for this is too much for me to bear 被淹沒,我不能忍受了
E18 Sullen or depressed, for I see no hope for any change 沮喪或憂鬱,因為我看不到任何改變的希望
E19 Revengeful, for I want you to be hurt the same way 仇恨的或想報復的,因為我想讓你經歷同樣的傷痛
E20 Vulnerable or exposed, for I appear weak and dependent 脆弱或暴露,因為我表現得軟弱,容易受傷或依賴人
E51 add feeling or modify any of the above 添加情緒或修改以上任何一項:
Identifying your EMOTIONS: When your needs are not responded to, I feel 找出當你的依附對象的需要得不到回應時你會感覺到的情緒...
fits my experience 符合我的經歷
fits how I experience my attachment figure 符合我如何經歷我的依附對象
Other 其他
E21 Numb or indifferent for I am hurting too much myself 麻木或冷漠,因為我裡面太多傷痛
E22 Guilty, since I have let you down 內疚,因為我讓你失望
E23 Shame, because I blame myself for being so uncaring 羞恥,因為我為如此不體貼你而自責
E24 Ashamed, since I hate myself for doing this to you 羞愧,因為我討厭自己這樣對待你
E25 Shocked, for this is not the person I want to be 震驚,因為我不能承認和接受我變成這樣
E26 Scared, for I am afraid of disappointing you more 害怕,因為我懼怕你對我更失望
E27 Upset or pain, for I can’t bear seeing you get hurt 生氣或疼痛,因為我不能忍受看到你受傷
E28 Regret or sorry, for I lost the opportunity to assure you 後悔或遺憾,因為我錯過了給你保證的機會
E29 Disappointed in myself, for this is not what I want either 對自己失望,因為這也不是我所想要的
E30 Helpless or powerless for what I give is never enough 無助或無能,因為我所給予的總是不足夠
E52 add feeling or modify any of the above 添加情緒或修改以上任何一項:
Identifying your EMOTIONS: When my needs are  responded to, I feel 找出當你的需要得到回應時你會感覺到的情緒...
fits my experience 符合我的經歷
fits how I experience my attachment figure 符合我如何經歷我的依附對象
Other 其他
E31 Loved, because I know you care for me 被愛,因為我知道你關心我
E32 Relaxed, for I don’t have to worry about where I stand 放鬆,因為我不用擔心我在你心裡的地位
E33 Safe or secure, for I won’t be rejected or abandoned 安全或有信心,因為我不會被拒絕或遺棄
E34 Happy or content, for my needs are recognized and met 快樂或滿意,因為我的需要得到肯定和滿足
E35 Hopeful, for this is a new beginning 希望,因為這是一個新的開始
E36 Special, because I am important to you 特別或獨特,因為我對你是重要的
E37 Optimistic, for this is what I had longed for 樂觀,因為這正是我所渴望的
E38 Confident, for we can make it together 自信和對你有信心,因為我們可以一起成功
E39 Trusting, for I long to be able to depend on you 信任,因為我一直渴望能夠依靠你
E40 Patient or forgiving, for I am more tolerant and less critical 耐性或寬容,因為我變成更多包容,更少批評
E53 add feeling or modify any of the above 添加情緒或修改以上任何一項:
Identifying your EMOTIONS: When your needs are  responded to, I feel 找出當你的依附對象的需要得到回應時你會感覺到的情緒…
fits my experience 符合我的經歷
fits how I experience my attachment figure 符合我如何經歷我的依附對象
Other 其他
E41 Successful or accomplished, for I can bring joy to you 成功或有成就感,因為我可以為你帶來快樂
E42 Proud, for this is the person I want to be 自豪,因為這正是我想成為的人
E43 Fulfilled or contented, be-cause this is what I want too 滿意或滿足,因為這也是我所期望的
E44 Elated or excited, for bringing you contentment 開心或興奮,因為我能給你帶來滿足
E45 Relieved, for I no longer feel inadequate or rejected 放心,因為我不再感到不足或被拒絕
E46 Special or important to you, for I am able to do this 特別或對你是重要的,因為我能回應你的需要
E47 Peaceful or calm, for I no longer worry about disappointing you 平安或平靜,因為我不再擔心使你失望
E48 Energized or alive, for this is life giving or renewing 活著或有活力,因為這帶來生命或更新
E49 Hopeful or confident, for I see a brighter future 希望或有信心,因為我看到一個更光明的未來
E50 Loving or passionate, because of our growing close again 愛或熱情,因為我們越來越親近
E54 add feeling or modify any of the above 添加情緒或修改以上任何一項:
Suggested exercise with your attachment figure to share your reactive and more vulnerable emotions  與你的依附對象分享你反應性和比較脆弱的情緒的作業:
Share how you experience your emotions in the relationship with your attachment figure and how your attachment figure experiences his or her emotions in the relationship with you.  Share with your attachment figure by reading out each item slowly and using a soft tone. 分享在你和依附對象的關係中,你怎樣經歷自己的情緒和對方怎樣經歷他/她自己的情緒. 請與你的依附對象分享並以放慢的速度和溫柔的語氣來讀出你的情緒.
1. With your attachment figure, share items that describe your emotions when you feel your needs are not responded to 請與依附對象分享當你的需要得不到回應時你會感覺到的情緒 (E1 to E20).
2. Share items that describe your emotions when  your attachment figure’s needs are not responded to 請與依附對象分享當他/她的需要得不到回應時你會感覺到的情緒(E21 to E30).
3. Share items that describe your emotions when your needs are responded to 請與依附對象分享當你的需要得到回應時你會感覺到的情緒 (E31 to E40).
4. Share items that describe your emotions when your attachment figure's needs are responded to 請與依附對象分享當他/她的需要得到回應時你會感覺到的情緒 (E41-50)
5. Be sure to listen attentively and non-judgmentally to your attachment figure reading the items 請細心並避免判斷地聆聽你的依附對象分享他/她的情緒.
6. Work together with your attachment figure to understand, validate, empathize and respond to each other’s emotional experience in your relationship 請與你的依附對象一起努力去了解,肯定,認同和回應彼此的情緒經歷.
7. Please share your experience in completing this exercise and what was helpful to you and your relationship with your attachment figure 請分享你完成這作業時的經歷和什麼是對你和關係有幫助的.
Identify your attachment fears 找出你的依附恐懼: When my connection with you is threatened, I fear 當我與你的關係受威脅時,我懼怕…
fits my experience 符合我的經歷
fits how I experience my attachment figure 符合我如何經歷我的依附對象
Other 其他
F1 Rejection, I am neither wanted or needed by you 被拒絕,你不想要我,或不需要我
F2 Abandonment, I will be left alone to care for myself 被遺棄,我會孤單地照顧自己
F3 Disconnection, emotionally cut off, detached or isolated 失去連結,情感斷絕,分離或被孤立
F4 Being invalidated, disrespected or put down 被否定,貶低或不被尊重
F5 Being misunderstood, judged or slandered 被誤解,判斷或誹謗
F6 Being unimportant or insignificant to you 對你不重要,沒有份量或不被珍惜
F7 Being taken for granted, not being valued 被認為是理所當然的或不被重視
F8 Being unloved, unlovable, unattractive or undesirable 不被愛,不可愛,不受歡迎或缺乏吸引力
F9 Being ignored, neglected or unappreciated 被忽視,被忽略或不被欣賞
F10 Being a failure, useless, worthless or inadequate 變成失敗,沒有用,不足或沒有價值
F11 Being a disappointment, not meeting your standard 變成一個失望或不符合你的標準
F12 Not being forgiven, accommodated, put up with 不被原諒,包容或容忍
F13 Being controlled, manipulated or used like an object 被控制,操縱或利用,好像物件一般
F14 Being abused, harmed, betrayed or getting hurt 被虐待,侵犯,傷害,出賣或受傷
F15 Losing my space, autonomy, freedom or identity 失去我的空間,自主權,自由或身份
F16 Being exposed as weak, spineless or vulnerable 被暴露為軟弱,沒有骨氣或脆弱
F17 Being defective, as if there is something wrong with me 有缺陷,好像我是有問題的
F18 Being inferior, not good enough or despised 被視為比不上別人,不夠好或被藐視
F19 Being helpless, powerless or hopeless 變成無奈,無能為力或絕望
F20 Being shamed, humiliated, deprived of self-respect or dignity 被羞恥,被侮辱,自尊或尊嚴被剝奪
F21 Being not acknowledged, approved, considered or trusted 不被承認,允許,體諒或信任
F22 Being distant, lacking intimacy or closeness 被遠離,疏遠,缺乏親切或親密
F23 The loss of responsiveness, support, cooperation or harmony 失去響應,支持,合作或和諧
F24 Being seen as bad, despicable or disgusting 被視為不好,卑鄙或令人討厭
F25 Being unseen, invisible, forgotten or transparent 變成看不見,隱形,透明或被忘記
F26 Being criticized, disapproved, seen as blemished or flawed 被批評,被排斥,被視為有瑕疵或不合格
F27 Other attachment fears or modification of any of the above 添加依附恐懼或修改以上任何一項:
Suggested exercise with your attachment figure to share your attachment fears 與你的依附對象分享你的依附恐懼的作業:
Share how you experience your attachment fears in the relationship with your attachment figure and how your attachment figure experiences his or her attachment fears in the relationship with you. 請分享在你和依附對象的關係中,你怎樣經歷自己的依附恐懼和對方怎樣經歷他/她自己的依附恐懼.
1. Select items from the above list that describe your attachment fears when your connection with your attachment figure is threatened 請從以上的陳述選出當你與依附對象的關係受威脅時,你會經歷的依附恐懼.
2. Share your attachment fears with your attachment figure by reading out the selected items slowly and using a soft tone 請與你的依附對象分享並以放慢的速度和溫柔的語氣來讀出你的你的依附恐懼.
3. Remember you are taking this risk in sharing your fears because you are important to each other. Listen carefully and attentively to your attachment figure sharing his or her attachment fears. 請記住因為你們對彼此很重要,所以你們承擔與對方分享自己的恐懼的風險.  請細心並專注地聆聽你的依附對象分享他/她的依附恐懼.
4. Work together with your attachment figure to understand, validate, empathize and respond to each other’s attachment fears 請與你的依附對象一起努力去了解,肯定,認同和回應彼此的依附恐懼.
5. Please share your experience in completing this exercise and what was helpful to you and your relationship with your attachment figure 請與依附對象分享你完成這作業時的經歷和什麼是對你和關係有幫助的.
Identify your attachment longings 找出你的依附渴求: When my connection with you is threatened, I long 當我與你的關係受威脅時,我渴望…
fits my experience 符合我的經歷
fits how I experience my attachment figure 符合我如何經歷我的依附對象
Other 其他
L1 To be wanted or needed by you 感到你是想要我或需要我的
L2 For reassurance, that you will not abandon or forsake me 得到保證,你是不會遺棄或拋棄我的
L3 For connection, attachment or emotional relatedness 得到連結,依附或情感上的聯繫
L4 For validation, respect, consideration or acknowledgement 得到肯定,尊重,體諒或確認
L5 To be accepted, understood, not judged nor slandered 被接納,被了解,不被判斷和不被誹謗
L6 To matter, be important, significant or relevant to you 我對你是重要的,是有份量的或是與你相關
L7 To be valued, seen and treated as precious 被珍惜,被視為寶貴的
L8 To be loved, lovable, attractive or desirable 被愛,被視為可愛,有吸引力或受歡迎
L9 To be noticed, attended to or appreciated 被注意,被回應或被欣賞
L10 To be seen as successful, useful, worthy or adequate 被視為成功,有用,有價值或是足夠的
L11 To be enough for you, able to meet your standard or need 能滿足你,達到你的標準或符合你的需求
L12 To be forgiven, accommodated or put up with 你的原諒,包容或容忍
L13 To be seen and treated as unique and special 被視為獨特和特殊的,並得到因此所配得的對待
L14 To be safe, free from abuse, harm, betrayal or hurt 安全,不被虐待,侵犯,出賣或傷害
L15 To have my space, autonomy, freedom or identity 擁有我自己的空間,自主權,自由或身份
L16 To be able to show my mistake, failure or weakness 能夠顯示我的錯誤,失敗或軟弱
L17 For dignity, face or self-respect 有尊嚴,面子或自尊
L18 For intimacy, being and feeling close to you 感覺與你親近,親密和存在一起
L19 To be helpful, influential, powerful or hopeful 對你有幫助,有影響力,有改變的能力或有希望
L20 For support, help, care, concern or positive regard 得到支持,幫助,關懷或積極的關注
L21 To be open, trusted or depended upon 能開放,被信任或被依賴
L22 To be free to be myself without criticism or rejection 能自由地做自己,而不被批評或被排斥
L23 For responsiveness, support, cooperation or harmony 得到敏銳的回應,支持,合作或和諧
L24 To be seen as good, trying and doing my best 被視為好的,不斷地嘗試和盡我所能
L25 To be seen, visible or remembered 被看見或被紀念
L26 To be free of disapproval, not seen as blemished or flawed 不被拒絕,不被視為有瑕疵或有缺陷
L27 For freedom and openness to express my feelings or needs 自由和開放地表達自我的感覺或需要
L28 For companionship, friendship, mutuality or belonging 得到陪伴,友誼,相互或歸屬
L29 For compassion, empathy, patience, kindness or grace 得到同情,認同,忍耐,慈愛或恩典
L30 To be competent, healthy, balanced or whole 有能幹,健康,平衡或完美
L31 For predictability, stability, trustworthiness or dependability 你對我是可預測,穩定,可信任或可靠的
L32 For justice, fairness, righteousness or equality 得到正義,公平,公義或平等
L33 For honesty, truthfulness or integrity 真實,坦誠,誠實或一致的表現
L34 For protection, security, without the need to worry 得到保護,保障,安全,導致我無需擔心
L35 For openness, genuineness or sincerity 得到開放,真誠或誠意
L36 For hope, the opportunity for change and to be different 得到希望,有改變和不同的機會
L37 For communion, communication or dialogue 有交流,溝通或對話
L38 For comfort, a listening ear, or encouragement 得到安撫,聆聽的耳朵或鼓勵
L39 Other attachment longings or modifications of any of the above 添加依附渴求或修改以上任何一項:
Suggested exercise with your attachment figure to share your attachment longings 與你的依附對象分享你的依附恐懼的作業:
Share how you experience your attachment longings in the relationship with your attachment figure and how your attachment figure experiences his or her attachment longings in the relationship with you. 請分享在你和依附對象的關係中,你怎樣經歷自己的依附渴求和對方怎樣經歷他/她自己的依附渴求.
1. Select items from the above list that describe your attachment longings when your connection with your attachment figure is threatened 請從以上的陳述選出當你與依附對象的關係受威脅時,你會經歷的依附渴求.
2. Share your attachment longings with your attachment figure by reading out the selected items slowly and using a soft tone 請與你的依附對象分享並以放慢的速度和溫柔的語氣來讀出你的你的依附渴求.
3. Remember you are taking this risk in sharing your longings because you are important to each other. Listen carefully and attentively to your attachment figure sharing his or her attachment longings. 請記住因為你們對彼此很重要,所以你們承擔與對方分享自己的渴求的風險.  請細心並專注地聆聽你的依附對象分享他/她的依附渴求.
4. Work together with your attachment figure to understand, validate, empathize and respond to each other’s attachment longings 請與你的依附對象一起努力去了解,肯定,認同和回應彼此的依附渴求.
5. Please share your experience in completing this exercise and what was helpful to you and your relationship with your attachment figure 請與依附對象分享你完成這作業時的經歷和什麼是對你和關係有幫助的.
Email address of your most important attachment figure that you will be inviting to complete the survey: (enables correlation of the survey results between attachment figures when you and your attachment figure are assigned a code after identifying information has been removed) 你將邀請完成這問卷的依附對象的電郵 (在刪除標識資料後,你和依附對象會被分配代碼,以便你們的問卷結果相互關聯):
Please reenter your email address to confirm it 請重新輸入你的電郵以便確認: *
Please share your experience in completing this survey if you wish 如果你願意,請分享你完成此問卷的經歷:
Other comments, experiences or questions concerning this survey 有關此問卷的其他意見,經歷或問題:
Thank you for taking your valuable time to complete this experience in close relationship survey and investing in your most valuable relationship.  A copy of your responses will be automatically sent to the email address that you have provided.  Please consider inviting your attachment figure to complete this survey by sending him or her the link and sharing your answers to strengthen your bond. 多謝你抽出寶貴的時間來完成這有關親密關係的問卷,並投資於你最珍惜的關係. 你的問卷副本將自動發送到你提供的電郵. 請考慮邀請你的依附對象完成此問卷,發送鏈接給他或她並與依附對象分享你的答案,從而加強你們的連結.
A copy of your responses will be emailed to the address you provided.
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