Self-Assessment

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Self-Assessment

How are you in relationships?

We do know this: the better we know ourselves the better we are able to know our limits, unconscious patterns, and projections. It helps us become better partners and pick better partners.

Below is a group of questions. Please answer to the best of your ability and at the same time don’t overthink it - just pick the answer that best fits you in the moment.

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You are in a group discussion, do you prefer to... *

Hear the facts (thinker)

Understand how it affected everyone (feeler)

Find a solution (thinker)

Make sure everyone is ok (feeler)

What is more important to you when hearing difficult news? *

How it is told to you (feeler)

What is it about (thinker)

Have lots of questions (thinker)

How you were impacted by it (feeler)

What is the best way to appeal to you? *

Strong emotional reasons (feeler)

Facts (thinker)

Logics (thinker)

Compassion (feeler)

What is more appealing to you about a person, situation, or experience? *

Kindness (feeler)

Honesty (thinker)

Bluntness (thinker)

Empathy (feeler)

What is the best way to describe you? *

Idealistic (thinker)

Task-oriented (thinker)

Tactful (feeler)

Caring (feeler)

What is more interesting to you? *

Law (thinker)

Math (thinker)

Art (feeler)

Psychology (feeler)

How would you describe yourself? *

Curious (thinker)

Intentional (feeler)

Afraid of being wrong (feeler)

Feel more comfortable with certainty (thinker)

Think about a goal you have: *

You will do whatever it takes to get it figured out, even if it takes a while (growth)

You will move on to the next project if it takes too long (fixed)

You will spend hours learning about it on SM videos trying to figure out the next steps (fixed)

You will find a solution through a class or workshop and start working on it at least once a week until it is completed (growth)

We all experience rejection in our lives; when you experience a medium to large one you tend to: *

Feel all the feels but then see it as a learning opportunity (growth)

Start thinking about all the times you felt rejected and start looking at SM videos to feel better (fixed)

Think of a time someone pointed out you were wrong about something, you: *

Got angry and decided you didn’t want to hang out with them anymore as they don’t understand you (fixed)

Discussed the experience with your therapist or trusted friend and ask them to help you understand why this experience felt so bad (growth)

Ghost the friend and move on (fixed)

Talk to your friend directly about ways to discuss difficult situations more delicately (growth)

You have met someone new and are super excited about them; what best describes you? *

You love this feeling – you love wining and dining her and trying to get her interested (avoidant)

You want to spend all of your time with her and can’t believe how much you have in common (anxious)

Even though it’s new you know she is the one and you are in love (avoidant)

You love the high you feel when you first fall in love (anxious and avoidant)

You believe you have never found a more perfect match (anxious)

In a new relationship, you find yourself: *

Getting worried if she doesn’t respond to your text within 1-2 hours – you start worrying that the energy between you is shifting (anxious)

She does some things that are a turn-off and you find yourself uncertain of how much you love her, worried you might have made a mistake (avoidant)

You start fantasizing about the house/wedding “white picket fence” – you can’t help yourself you can’t remember the last time you felt this way (anxious)

Dating, what dating – you usually jump right in when you feel this way (avoidant)

Once your new relationship turns into a commitment: *

You find it hard or ridiculous to set boundaries when you are so happy to have met someone you love so much so agree to things without giving it much thought (anxious)

You find yourself losing interest or getting bored once the honeymoon period wears off and begin to feel smothered by your relationship (avoidant)

You don’t like the fact that she is friends with several of her exes and ask her to stop being friends with them (avoidant)

You think of your partner/wife all the time and take it personally when she does not seem as affectionate when you first met (anxious)

The honeymoon is over, and you start fighting often, you: *

Worry that she is changing the way she feels about you even though there is no evidence – it’s just the growing pains of a new relationship (anxious)

You constantly find yourself doubting that she is not the one since people who are really in love don’t ever fight this much (avoidant)

Stay in the relationship even though you have lost interest in having sex with your partner. (avoidant)

You struggle that your partner/wife tends to disagree with you and/or doesn’t seem to understand you. (anxious)

When a relationship breaks up: *

You again realize that you stay in toxic relationships far too long, thinking they will change. (anxious)

You find yourself having a really hard time getting over her and need to take time to recover before you are ready to meet someone else. (anxious)

You find yourself getting over your ex pretty quickly and are excited to get back out there as soon as you can since you realize she wasn’t the one anyway. (avoidant)

You jump from one relationship to the next –never staying single for very long to avoid loneliness or the withdrawals of your last breakup. (avoidant)

A copy of your responses will be emailed to the address you provided.

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