Circus Bodies
how we see ourselves and others
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REPRESENTATION:
what do you see?
I don’t see my body represented in the circus shows I see on stage
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I have never seen my circus act performed by someone who looks like me
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I have seen circus shows with a variety of body shapes on stage
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I have seen circus show with  people I would describe as overweight
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I have seen circus shows where people I would describe as overweight people were valorized
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I have seen circus show with people I would describe as underweight
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I have seen circus shows where people I would describe as underweight was valorized
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After seeing a circus show, I sometimes feel the need to change my body to resemble those of the performers
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PERSONAL (GENERAL):
How do I see myself?
I feel like my personal success in circus depends on how much fat I have on my body
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My opinion of my of my physical appearance has worsened since starting my involvement in circus
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I feel more confident in my physical appearance since starting my involvement in circus
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I started circus training before puberty
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I started circus training after puberty
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I feel the need to lose weight to succeed in circus
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I feel the need to gain weight to succeed in circus
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I feel confident in my body practicing circus
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I don’t not feel confident in my body practicing circus
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I feel the need to drastically alter my body to succeed in circus
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I am afraid that things outside my circus life — pregnancy, illness, injury, medication, big life changes — will permanently change my body and that this will jeopardize my place in the circus
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I attach my identity to my physique — I feel like my place in circus depends on how I look
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When I practice circus, I feel connected to my body
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When I practice circus, I feel disconnected from my body
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I am alarmed when I see fat on my body that wasn’t previously there
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COMMUNITY
How do we see each other?
I see a diverse range of body sizes, physiques, and shapes in my circus community
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I have had a coach tell me/ imply that I should gain weight
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I have had a coach tell me/ imply that I should lose weight
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I have heard a coach say they prefer fatter bodies
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I have heard a coach say they prefer thinner bodies
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I’m worried about what my colleagues think of my body
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I feel supported by my colleagues about how I look
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I have been told I have the wrong physique for my circus discipline
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I have put pressure on a peer/ colleague to maintain their current weight
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I have put pressure on a peer/ colleague to gain weight
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My friends, family, or colleagues from outside my circus life have made negative comments about my weight/ size for my circus practice
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I have heard a coach praise a student for losing weight/ mass
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I have heard a coach praise a student for gaining weight/ mass
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I have praised a student, peer or colleague for gaining weight/ mass
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I have felt compelled to lose weight/ mass because of a coach’s view of what a circus artist should look like
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I have felt compelled to gain weight/ mass because of a circus coach’s view of what a circus artist should look like.
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I have heard a circus artist/ practitioner say derogatory comments about the fat on another circus artist/ practitioner’s body.
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I have heard a circus artist/ practitioner make derogatory comments about how thin another circus artist/ practitioner’s body is.
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I feel rejected from my circus community because of my size
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PERSONAL (TECHNIQUE)
How do I see myself in relation to my training?
I feel incapable of meeting the standards of strength and physical prowess around me in the circus
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I feel capable, but not supported or encouraged to do so, and I suspect because of my size
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I feel like I would meet my strength goals if I had less fat of my body or weighed less
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I feel like I would meet my strength goals if I had more fat on my body or weighed more
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I am afraid to gain weight because of how it will affect my performance in my circus
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I am afraid to lose weight because of how it will affect my performance in my circus
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I feel pressure to conform to physical stereotypes within my circus discipline/ specialty
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I have been refused a chance to perform or practice circus and was told it was because of my size
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I have been refused a chance to perform or practice circus and felt it was because of my size
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I try to lose weight or fatty tissue before a date when I know I will perform
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I try to gain weight or fatty tissue before a date when I know I will perform
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I am worried about my body changing as I age and no longer having the "right" body do practice my circus specialty.
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Diet and Consumption
How I feel about what I eat.
I have had peers/ colleagues go on extreme diets to compliment their training
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I have been on extreme diets to compliment my training
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Circus training has triggered or exacerbated disordered eating/ an eating disorder in certain peers around me
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Circus training has triggered or exacerbated disordered eating/ an eating disorder for me
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Circus training has helped me or certain colleagues heal from an eating disorder or disordered eating
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I have had peers moralize my diet choices/ make derogatory comments about what I eat
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When I feel I’ve eaten too much, I make sure to train extra
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I don’t feel like I’ve earned the right to eat, especially sweets or junk food, if I haven’t trained that day
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I have an image of how “good” or “real” circus artists eat
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I feel totally fine balancing how and what I eat — I’ve found what works for me
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I feel guilty after eating what I consider unhealthy food and worry about it’s impact on my circus training
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OPEN QUESTIONS
let's talk...
Is there anything important that I left out?
What would you like to see more of in the industry?
What are your insecurities about circus?
Thanks. I love you.
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